As a parent, it is disheartening to be in a situation where your child talks back to you. It can be upsetting for a parent. I have experienced it with my daughter. We are parents and we mean well for our children. However, sometimes they fail to see our side and in a fit of rage answer back.
But, there are ways to deal with the situation. It is important to be calm and composed. If your child talks back to you, refrain from doing the same. I strongly believe that aggression leads to more aggression. Reason out with your child. Understand what is going on in her/his mind and why s/he is speaking that way. There are better ways to handle rude behaviour than getting aggressive yourself.
As a parent of a pre-teen, I have observed this behaviour in this age bracket and teenagers. They have a mind of their own and often lash out during conversations. Children should be allowed to express their disagreements. However, they need to be taught to be respectful while sharing their perspective.
Take a moment or two, or walk away from the situation. Gain your composure. Till then the child will also have cooled down. Then, sit with the child and explain what they did a while ago was wrong. Be nice and make them understand that while it is okay to not agree with you on everything, it is certainly not alright to be rude or use negative remarks during the conversation.
As a parent, you also need to analyse why your child is talking that way. Did I speak like this with someone that my child is mimicking me? I have said this several times in my column, you have to be a role model for your child. No matter how many times you tell your child not to do a certain thing or behave a certain way, s/he will copy you. When your child sees you talk to somebody harshly, s/he will do the same.
Talk to your child about respecting people. Tell them there is a way to communicate. It could be a family member, friend, neighbour, anybody. Respect is very important. When you let your child speak and listen to their opinion, you are also teaching them to do the same when you talk.
Punishing, yelling or being aggressive will certainly not instil good behaviour in your child. As parents, it can be heartbreaking if your child says something out of line. We expect our children to listen to us all the time. And, they do. But, sometimes they end up saying something they ought not to.
You need to build a strong relationship with your child. Being friendly will enable her/him, to talk to you about everything. Don't be authoritative just to get your child to obey you. If you feel you have made a mistake, do not hesitate to admit that to your child and teach her/him to learn and not make the same mistakes you did.
We are human beings. We will go wrong sometimes. And, that is okay. But, it is crucial to teach your child to understand right from wrong.
(Riddhima Kapoor Sahni is a jewellery designer, and daughter of veteran actors Rishi Kapoor and Neetu Kapoor)
