Goals. We all have them. Be it tangible (arranging a closet, striking off items from your to-do list, and so on) or something intangible (achieving zen, for one)… our lives are driven by the goals we set. Some are made consciously, some unconsciously, but we make them. Setting goals helps us keep on track, taking the right path that will lead us to our dreams. Hence I believe that it is imperative that as parents we teach our little ones the importance of making goals.
It helps them stay focused, boosts their confidence after achieving their goals, and instils a sense of discipline in them. These aspects are important in character building.
The exercise of setting goals gives children a sense of purpose as well. Teach them to start with smaller goals and not be over-ambitious in the beginning. For children to feel satisfied with completing the task at hand, they must set realistic goals and not be difficult so that they aren’t disheartened if they fail to achieve something. For example, making the bed or finishing homework in a certain time frame. On days when they don’t have school, the goals could be a little difficult but not outside the capacity of the children.
Once they complete the goals, reward them, encourage by praising them, and give hugs or pats on the back… to make children feel good. This will motivate them to do better next time and would eagerly await for their next challenge. However, for some reason, if they aren’t able to finish the tasks at hand, do not lose calm. Instead encourage them to give it a try once again before stepping in to help. In that case, they will learn valuable lessons about planning and goal setting. Each day is a new day and children learn every day.
Setting goals also teaches them to be independent. Like my daughter, three-four years ago (she was 9 years old at that time), came up to me and said, ‘I’m going to learn how to make my bed so that when I go to college or not living with you I can be independent’. I feel that’s important because we as parents will always be there for our children, but we can’t be with them or handhold them when they reach adulthood.
Hence, as parents, we should help our children plan their goals, and encourage and guide them. Whether children achieve their goals on time or not doesn’t matter. What matters is that they are trying and working towards meeting their targets. This will prove beneficial when they leave the comfort of their parents' home and step out into the outside world to make a career. Achieving goals is a journey, for both – parents and children.
As parents, you need to be encouraging, and supportive and provide assurance whenever necessary, so that children don’t feel dejected.
(Riddhima Kapoor Sahni is a jewellery designer, and daughter of veteran actors Rishi Kapoor and Neetu Kapoor)
