It is common knowledge that Mother’s Day is celebrated on the second Sunday of May every year. But not many of us know that it was championed by a woman called Anna Jarvis, who wanted to honour the sacrifices mothers make for their children after her mother Ann Reeves Jarvis died in 1905. Anna spent half her life trying to get Mother’s Day internationally recognised in the United States, and today, individuals around the world mark the day by celebrating mothers in their lives.
Most often the chaos of our life keeps us too occupied to acknowledge the contribution of our mothers, who toil away, selflessly, to better us and our lives. But, there is a lot that goes on in a mother’s life. While the birth of a child is a happy event, the impact it will have on the mother's life is often forgotten.
A newborn mother
When a child is born, a mother is born too. It's a physically and psychologically complex journey for which most women are unprepared. It is at this time of her life she is forced to question her identity and form a new sense of who she is in her world. Faced with the stress of new roles and responsibilities, the mother goes through a period of changes, instability and reorganisation of life.
“It is overwhelming in the beginning for all the mothers. While it is a life-changing experience it is also an emotional roller-coaster journey. Mothers feel anxiety over the baby’s well-being and they question their instincts. Most mothers experience conflicting feelings and emotions,” says Consulting Psychologist Mahima Sharma.
Ankita Singhal, a pilot and a mother of a six-month-old daughter, says, “I would be scared all the time when my daughter would cry at night. I used to feel that something would go wrong with her. It took me some time to understand the process,” says Ankita.
Ageless adolescence
A mother of a teenager is constantly faced with contradictions between her ideas and her child’s. “Apart from inculcating values and preparing her kids for a better future, mothers at times observe and analyse their actions. There are several challenges due to the generation gap. Mothers constantly battle this situation and this stresses them out,” says Counselling Psychologist Monika Navarkar. She adds that a mother needs to take it easy and respect the child’s growing perspective.
“My daughter is 19-year-old and I constantly think about what she is up to. I have to be on my toes to be ideal for my daughter because she will do what I do. It’s constant pressure. Sometimes, I have temper issues and I become irritable,” says Ritu Saxena, a teacher.
The D’day and insecurities
Marriage is the time when a child is grown up and independent. However, this time too brings a myriad of conflicts in a mother’s life. “At this point, the mother feels a sense of loss and uncertainty over what she will do with the rest of her life and how she will fit into her son or daughter’s life. Mothers, at times, develop competitive and authoritative nature due to their insecurities,” points out Clinical Psychologist Deepshikha Soni.
Fifty-six-year-old Minakshi Pandit shares that she was too insecure when her son was getting married. “I developed attachment issues and insecurities about my importance in his life. My husband was a strong support system at that time. I spoke to my son as well and he understood what I was going through. At this point, mothers need to feel proud of themselves for fulfilling so many of their goals as a mother,” Minakshi concludes.
