The fragrance of flowers spreads only in the direction of the wind. But the goodness of a person spreads in all directions, said Acharya Chanakya. If we ponder over this quote, then we may realise that he said it right, because, when we act with kindness, generosity, strength and integrity, it never fails. But, in today’s world, many of us find it really hard to see the good in ourselves as well as in others. We seem to prefer to talk about our weaknesses and not our strengths, to highlight our darker traits or vices, as opposed to the bright side i.e., our good side.
Perhaps this has something to do with our childhood, when we were being told on many occasions by our parents or relatives that, don’t blow your own trumpet else you'll just get a big head! Or maybe we learned to easily identify our failures by watching and listening to others and thereby picked up the habit of seeing only the failures and weaknesses of others. Or maybe we grew up with someone whose approach towards life always highlighted the negative and who delighted in seeing the vices of others.
Well! a question that comes to mind is that — which sensible person would choose to ignore the positive and accentuate the negative? Would any of us consciously choose to be a negative person? Not Really! What most of us seldom recognise is a simple principle that- what you see in others is what you create within yourself in that moment.
As the old saying goes 'what you spot is what you got'. So, if you didn't have the trait or tendency that you see in others within your own personality, you wouldn't be able to spot it in 'the other'. That's why it is essential that we find the good, however small within ourself, tend to it, nurture it and nourish it — just as one would do to the plants in the garden.
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Remember! when we focus on the good, the positive within ourself, we give it a life, permission to grow and to get restored in our nature. Most of us do not realise that the good has been there all along, but it was simply out of our inner sight and awareness.
The idea that 'where your attention goes energy flows and where your energy flows things grow' is now somewhat clichéd. But the principle holds true at all levels of energetic exchange. And ‘relationship ‘is ultimately an exchange of energy.
Hence, to see the positive, the goodness, the virtue in others is to empower what you see in them. It is to add a little of your life energy to their life energy.
The writer is a spiritual educator and popular columnist for publications across India, Nepal and the UK, and has written more than 8,000 columns. He can be contacted at nikunjji@gmail.com / www.brahmakumaris.com
