Dating in the modern world is an extremely complicated and intricate process. The internet has enabled people to meet others from miles away, without even leaving their home, let alone city or state or country. This can be positive and negative because you can find someone who matches your interests and personality, but you could end up dating a person with different morals and values, making it difficult to see eye-to-eye — which will also make it difficult to decide if they are compatible long-term. And, not to mention all the trends and lingo one has to keep up with when it comes to traversing the world of dating. Here, we present some of the commonly associated terms with modern dating.
1. Kitten Fishing: When someone posts edited photos or inflated descriptions of self on social media to bait attention from potential mates. This is mainly done to increase the chances of getting a first date because they believe they can later win people over with their wit, sense of humour or personality.
2. Orbiting: Breaking off direct contact with someone you are dating while continuing the engagement on their social media, such as liking their Instagram posts or watching their Snapchat stories.
3. Breadcrumbing: Leading someone on with flirting and texting to make them like you but with little or no intention of following through. The occasional messages are non-committal; without any plans for building a relationship.
4. Caking: Excessively pursuing someone and being extra sweet and nice to them to establish a romantic connection.
5. Caspering: This is a toned-down version of Ghosting where you let someone down gently before disappearing from their life. For example, instead of ignoring texts, responding 15 hours later in a vague and friendly way. This leads to a lot of confusion and mixed messages.
6. Uber Radius: Being location-specific about who you are willing to date, based on the distance between where you and they live.
7. Roaching: Dating someone who secretly has multiple sexual partners. This is extremely disgusting and unsettling; also when confronted, they act as if they never implied monogamy in the first place.
8. Gaslighting: Manipulating another person with lies and distorted facts to cause them to doubt themselves, their beliefs or their mental health.
9. Ghosting: Cutting off ties with someone without explanation after having been romantically involved with them.
10. Zombie-ing: When someone who has disappeared suddenly reappears in your life, usually with no explanation.
11. Benching: Keeping someone around as a backup just in case things don't work out with someone else. Most people who bench others will not admit to doing so, but they may be guilty of texting them once or twice a month and keeping the relationship open even if it's not going anywhere.
12. Cuffing: When somebody is only interested in a short-term seasonal relationship, more like someone to be with during long chilly nights, a summer fling or a relationship during the holidays.
Now, that you know these terms, let’s dive deeper into how you can avoid them. The best way to stay away from trouble in the world of dating is by following one simple rule: Always be honest and direct with your intentions when it comes to romance! Figure out what you really want and communicate the same authentically. Even if something seems like a relationship trend, be aware of what you are indulging in, especially when it is toxic (for everyone involved).
Move at your own pace and process your emotions to let go and move on from the past traumatic experience in relationships. You can confide in friends, seek help from an expert, try a combination of therapies or bask in self-care. Letting go is never easy but check in with yourself if you really want a relationship that isn’t healthy in the first place. Allow time to heal. Do not dismiss or disregard your feelings as suppressing them can lead to fears, addictions and depression in the long run. Seek help from a professional who can help you cope better in case you are not able to find comfort in your sacred space and with your friends. Remember, you are worthy of love.
If you've been dating for a while and have started to notice these terms popping up in your conversations with others, then it might be time to start paying more attention to how you're being treated by your current or potential partners.
These new-age dating terms can be frustrating and confusing, but by knowing what they mean, you can be better prepared to deal with them. And, if you're the one doing any of these things, then it's time to change your behaviour before it drives someone away for good. So, whether you're a victim or a perpetrator, be sure to avoid these new age dating terms!
(The writer is M.D. (Alternative Medicines), Psychotherapist, Life Coach, Business Coach, NLP Expert, Healer, Founder & Director — Gateway of Healing)
