Becoming a mother is an unparalleled experience, one that brings immense joy and, at times, uncertainty. However, there's no one-size-fits-all manual for motherhood. Every mother is different, and so is the child. Parenting differs from mother to mother, child to child, and family to family. It is wrong to pinpoint and say what you are doing is wrong.
Trust your instincts
A new mother often receives advice, and tips, and is burdened with expectations from all quarters. But, I feel mothers have a strong sixth sense and they should trust their instincts. Right from the beginning of the pregnancy till childbirth and even after that, as a mother you will instinctively know what's best for the child. Whether it's soothing their cries, understanding their needs, or making important decisions, trust your gut feeling.
Do not compare
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One of the biggest challenges new mothers face is the pressure to do everything right. Do not pressurise yourself to be the epitome of perfection. Go with the flow and take one day at a time. Importantly, stop comparing yourself to others as it can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. Give your 100% and focus on the best you can do with the resources and knowledge you have.
Seek advice
Looking after a newborn can be a challenge. As a new mother, you are bound to feel stressed and tense. Reach out to women who have recently given birth or someone experienced like your mother, mother-in-law, or grandmother. Do not waver to seek advice and support. While every mother’s journey is unique, you can learn a lot from someone who has walked this path before. Open up to your partner about the difficulties you are facing. Communication is very important. If you don’t share your problems, you will end up bottling up your emotions which isn’t good for your health.
Self-care
Often, new mothers end up neglecting their health. The responsibility of caring for the child can take a toll on you. Thus, self-care is crucial while navigating motherhood. Make time for yourself. Whether it's indulging in a hobby, exercising, or simply taking a moment to breathe, tweak your daily schedule to include activities that nourish your body and soul. Remember, the happier you are, the happier is your child. However, do not feel pressured to do any of this. It is okay if you just want to do nothing and relax. Do not worry about shedding those extra pounds in a rush. It will happen eventually. Your body needs to rest and heal; give it time.
Sleep deprivation is a common challenge for new mothers, which can take a toll on physical and mental well-being. While every baby has different sleep patterns, finding ways to prioritise rest is necessary. Take turns with your partner so that you can sleep. You can include nap times into your daily routine. I used to sleep when my daughter Samara used to take a nap. Prioritise getting adequate rest whenever possible.
Postpartum blues are another hurdle that many new mothers face. Hormonal fluctuations, sleep deprivation, and the demands of caring for a newborn can contribute to feeling overwhelmed. If such things are troubling you, do not hesitate to seek advice. You can talk to a close friend, a professional, your partner or a family member you are close to or join a support group for new mothers. Remember, you are not alone and you certainly do not need to face any problem alone. Many times we feel no one will understand us, but they do. Talk and resolve your worries.
To sign off, the journey of motherhood is a bumpy ride filled with ups and downs, joys and sorrows. Be yourself, trust yourself and seek help when needed.
To all the new mothers, you are a great mom. Do not try to fit in, do your best and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
(Riddhima Kapoor Sahni is a jewellery designer, and daughter of veteran actors Rishi Kapoor and Neetu Kapoor)
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