TV actor Vaquar Shaikh, famous for his roles in the TV serial Anupamaa and the film Silence with Manoj Bajpayee, has been happily married to Shabnam Shaikh for nearly 23 years now. Father of two beautiful children, Zoya (20) and Ayaan (15), Vaquar is a subscriber of an arranged marriage. He proclaims that he cannot ask the Almighty for more because his family, friends, and fans shower him with love.
Why did you decide to have an arranged marriage?
Both Shabnam and I are from Jalgaon, Maharashtra. Shabnam’s grandfather was the district magistrate of Jalgaon, and my grandfather was the head of the municipal board. My chacha was also the mayor of Jalgaon at one point in time. Both her family and my family were well-known. My dad was a Lieutenant Colonel in the army. Shabnam’s family lived in our vicinity, about two to three blocks away. For all you know, we must have seen each other before, but I can’t recall. The families knew each other. But it was my grandmother who fixed the rishta.
What was your first impression of Shabnam?
I found her to be very beautiful, intelligent, and simple. Her eyes were, and still are, lovely, and so is her smile.
Did you make a list of questions (in your head) about what you would ask her?
If you go prepared, it is bound to go for a toss. We spoke largely about general things.
What did you ask her?
I asked her if she had seen my work, and she said yes.
Is she still simple?
She did not have many friends; today, it’s still the same.
So after the families met, what happened?
We got engaged within four months. Then there was a window period of eight to ten months.
What did you do in this long interval?
Talk to each other on the phone. I was the one who called often because Shabnam was and is shy.
Where did you officially take her out after the engagement?
Jalgaon is a small place, so there was nothing like taking her out. I would go to her place for lunch or dinner, and she would come over to my place. Yes, but I planned something special for her after we got married, and she still remembers that.
Do you surprise her with gifts?
I may not gift her on her birthday or Valentine’s Day, but I try to make a normal day into a special day.
Who is more possessive between the two?
Shabnam is. I am comparatively more relaxed.
Who is short-tempered between the two?
I am.
Who is the funnier one between the two?
I am. Shabnam speaks less, but she enjoys my sense of humor and laughs at all my jokes.
The cleanliness freak between the two is...
Definitely, definitely Shabnam. She has OCD. She is not happy till she washes her hands five times.
Is the way to a man’s heart through his stomach?
She is a fantastic cook. Ayaan, Zoya, and I relish what she cooks for us. We are her khaane ke ghulam.
What changes have taken place post marriage?
I have become calmer. My ship has found an anchor.
The definition of love: The older we get, the more we learn to give, especially when we become parents.
