Actors Seema Bhargava and Manoj Pahwa have been together for 38 years and married for 35 years. Their relationship, sans thrills and frills, is attractive nonetheless for the solidarity and harmony they share.
When and how did you meet your husband, Manoj Pahwa?
We met in 1984, but we knew about each other earlier as we were both involved in theatre. In 1984, we did a play called Aadhe Adhure, and during this time, we started feeling an attachment towards each other. We realised we were attracted to each other during this play and decided to be together.
Who took the initiative to get to know each other?
We had a common interest—theatre. No friend played a role in bringing us together.
What was the ice-breaker?
Both of us liked each other, so one day we decided to sit down and talk. Manoj took the initiative and set up our meeting at a hotel in Delhi. By the end of the meeting, we had decided to take our relationship to the next level—marriage. We are very commitment-oriented people, so we began dating after deciding to marry each other. We dated for three years, then got engaged, and eventually married.
Who proposed marriage ?
We both spoke about marriage, it was not that he proposed or I proposed.
Did you face any opposition when you both decided to marry?
There was no opposition whatsoever.
Who is more possessive between the two?
Till now, both of us are equally possessive about each other. In fact, our children laugh at the thought that even at this age, when one of us speaks to someone else, the other may have a problem with it. So, to this day, we both are possessive about each other.
Who is more short-tempered between the two?
I am more short-tempered. Manoj ko gussa kam aata hai.
Who is the funnier one between the two?
Obviously, Manoj.
Who is the cleanliness freak between the two?
I am. Mujhe jyaada se thoda jyaada problem hoti hai if my house is not clean or if the things are not kept in a certain way.
How has your relationship changed from when you were girlfriend and boyfriend to husband and wife?
When we were dating, we were not fully aware of each other’s habits and had not yet started adjusting to each other. But after marriage, many things became apparent. We noticed each other’s habits and began to compromise. However, in our case, despite being different in many aspects, the strong feeling of commitment made no difference in our lives.
And what changes did the birth of your children bring?
Once we became parents, we became very much alike. Fortunately, our views on how to raise our children, where to educate them, and what we want them to become aligned. Manoj and I have matured together, and it reflects in the way our children have turned out. My children are also quite mature for their age.
