Suchitra Pillai is married to a Danish man, Lars Kjeldsen. Their love story is testament that the union of two unique cultures can result in nothing short of magic. The Free Press Journal caught up with her for an exclusive chat. Excerpts:
How did you meet your husband Lars?
I met him through a common friend at another friend’s house when we all played Jenga.
Did you instantly like him or was it later after meeting him a few more times?
He was very pleasant and easy to speak to, but obviously there was no attraction then as I was seeing someone else at the time.
What are the qualities that attracted you to him?
His transparency as a person, his down-to-earth behaviour, lovable nature and his sense of family values.
Who took the initiative to get to know the other person ?
We both stayed in touch equally as he was based in Vietnam at the time I met him. He went back there after we had met and we both stayed in touch equally.
Who took the initiative to fix a date?
No such thing. I picked him up from the airport on his trip to Mumbai. I had bought eggs, milk and bread for him as his house in Mumbai was empty. I think that’s what really impressed him.
Where did you guys go for your first date?
Maybe in Bandra or at Prithvi Theatre when he came to watch my play.
Did he bring anything for you on your first date like flowers or chocolates?
No, we were never formal with each other.
Who said I love you first?
I think it was me.
How many times in a day would you speak with him?
At least twice.
Who is more possessive between the two?
Me probably.
Who is more of a cleanliness freak between the two?
He is definitely one.
Who is more short tempered?
He is most definitely.
Who apologises first after a fight?
I do.
Who proposed marriage?
He did in Vietnam on Valentine’s day.
Did you face any opposition when you were ready to marry?
No, he had met my parents three months after we started dating. He told them then that he was serious.
Did you feel any cultural differences?
Yes, since he’s Danish and I’m Indian. But the cultural differences were never a problem. It was very interesting for both of us to discover each other’s culture.
Did your husband make a concrete effort to acclimatise himself to Indian food and lifestyle?
We call him an honorary Indian because he loves India. The spice in the food needs to be controlled but otherwise he is totally okay. He loves Indian customs and culture.
What adjustments did you have to make, if any?
None really.
What sort of marriage ceremonies did you guys have?
Both types. A Malayali ceremony with Arya Samaj and a Danish church wedding. His family and he loved all our customs.
How has your relationship changed from the time you guys were girlfriend-boyfriend to husband and wife and now parents?
It’s definitely changed like it does for all after marriage and after life happens to us all. But the connection we share through the ups and downs is quite amazing. I guess that’s why 18 years later, we are still together. It’s never easy all the time but we have made it work because we value the connection we share.
What are your thoughts about marriage?
Marriage is something one has to be ready for. Once in it, it’s only you who can decide how important it is to keep it going. And when a beautiful child like Annika comes along, I thank God for choosing me to meet Lars and embark on this journey with him.
