Mumbai: Ah, elections — the grand spectacle where we're treated to stirring speeches, bold visions, and... oh wait, our mistake, It's actually a display of who can hurl the most colourful insults and showcase behavior that could put a tantrum-throwing toddler to shame. As if there weren't already enough reasons to avoid these circuses, the latest campaign outbursts in Maharashtra seem to be taking the “lowest common denominator” to exciting new depths. Take Nana Patole, Congress’ own poet laureate of invective.
During a recent rally in Akola. he didn't hold back, eloquently declaring his ambition to “turn the BJP into a dog” because, naturally, that's the type of high-minded rhetoric that gets votes these days. In case there was any confusion about his intentions, he explained that the BJP was so drunk on its own arrogance that it “thinks it is god” Ah yes, because what's better than a classic comparison to divinity to keep the discourse at rock bottom? As if one reference to divine narcissism wasn't enough, Patole decided to throw in ajabat BIP's own Devendra Fadnavis. Fadnavis, Patole explained to his enraptured audience, had recently rebranded himself as “Devabhan” and, he teased. might soon drop the “bhau” entirely. “What would be left?” he asked, prompting the crowd to shout, "Deval” Naturally, he delivered this punchline with the gravitas one might reserve for a Shakespearean soliloquy.
This is, after all, high art, the stuff of legends—or at least, of memes. Why waste time discussing policies or initiatives when there are gods and dogs to sort out? And in the blue corner, representing the BIP, we have Raosaheb Danve, whose form of charm involves a more hands-on foot-on approach. In a viral video, Danve—former Union Minister no less—is seen giving a hearty kick to his party worker, a fellow named Sheikh Ahmed. To be fair, Danve’s footwork may have shown promise in another line of work, but unfortunately, this was just the party office, not a football pitch.
Ahmed, ever the dutiful friend, clarified that it was all just a big misunderstanding. Apparently, Danve, bouquet in hand, didn't want to be inconvenienced with the usual method of brushing off a nuisance, so his foot stepped in to get the job done. After all, what are decades of friendship if not an invitation to be kicked out of the way in public? In the world of today’s political campaigns, it seems there’s little time for any of those pesky policy discussions when there’s so much name-calling and “friendly” physicality to go around. So buckle up, Maharashtra—the spectacle has only just begun, and the insults, it seems, are only getting sharper.
