Mother’s Day 2023: 5 women talk about the struggles of being a single parent

It takes a lot to be a mother but it takes a lot more emotional courage when you are a single mother. While all mothers go the extra mile to take care of their kids, these moms do that without their courage being embraced by a partner. However, they are still credited less and some still see them with an eye of prejudice. But, nothing takes them down as all they want is to see their children rise and shine.

This Mother’s Day, we take a moment to appreciate the courage of the moms who are sailing the ship alone. We all know the ones who are in the limelight and doing a great job being single mothers to their children, like Ektaa Kapoor, Shweta Tiwari, Karisma Kapoor, and Sushmita Sen among others, but there are everyday moms we might know nothing about.

Rita Verma, 49, a resident of Delhi, became a single parent when she lost her husband in a road accident 18 years after marriage. She was left behind with two children who were still young to be able to be the breadwinners of the family. “This was something I had never imagined in my scariest of dreams. All my life, I was either dependent on my parents or my husband as I got married at an early age. I thought to take the legacy of my husband’s business ahead but the pressure of family and society didn’t allow me to. But, I didn’t give up for the sake of my children.”

She motivated her son to become a part of his father’s business and made sure that her daughter gets the best education in her field. It’s been over 12 years since she lost her husband to death, but her daughter who is now doing her post-graduation in Canada and her son who has handled the family business amazingly speaks the story of the courage Verma showed when life made her face to face with an unimaginable situation. She is not only a mother, but she is also an everyday superwoman who is credited less by society.

Similar was the situation of Palak Bajaj, 40, Khamgaon, who lost her husband to death five years ago. She was left behind with two children who have been her constant support since then. She now is a teacher and a homemaker.

"Being a single parent is not easy in this ever-evolving world. After my husband passed away, things got a little off-track. I had to find a new job, take care of my children and take care of my mental health as well. My children are my constant support and I am grateful that I have their back. Whenever I feel low I see their faces and my misery goes away. Being a mother is a tough job but it is worth it when you have children who support you,” Bajaj said.

Garima Tomar, 32, hails from Ghaziabad and became a single parent four years ago when she got separated from her husband. She was already a mother of a four-year-old Anvi. She believes while her journey was not smooth but it was relatively better because of a stable career that not only empowered her financially but made her mentally stronger. After separation, she moved to her birth home and was supported unconditionally by her family. She is a proud single mother who is also the co-founder of a lifestyle website “My super supportive family is the wind below my wings. A lot of women are still deprived of that kind of unconditional support. Dealing with society is overwhelming at times, but that’s just a small obstacle when you have support from family and friends. There was a time when I was clueless about how will I do it alone, but now we are in a happy space, have our little world with plans for a happier and brighter future. That smile on my girl’s face, the shine in her eyes makes all the hustle worthy.”

Neha Rai, 32, Delhi, became a single mother two years back when she was very new to motherhood. Her daughter was just a couple of months old when she got separated from her husband and had to face a lot of medical and financial challenges. But, her daughter’s warmth kept her going and she sailed the ship like a warrior. She is now an entrepreneur running a PR firm in Delhi. Rai believes that her motherhood experience has been different from what he got from her mother but the way she was brought up gave her immense courage to raise a child alone. “The generation of our parents was very clear. The father figure will be the main source of income and the mothers will take care of their children. So there were hardly any clashes on who was supposed to do what. However, my mother went the extra mile into taking care of me as I was an acute anthemic patient in my childhood. I definitely can not match her efforts, ever. However, being a single parent is challenging and, at the same time, gives me immense courage that I am sufficient for my child. Because I was brought up that way that I shouldn’t be dependent.”

And then some mothers sacrifice their personal selves for their children and that’s how is the story of Kamal Vaid.

Vaid, 56, from Ghaziabad, Uttar Pradesh, became a single mother to her daughter 27 years ago. She separated from her husband when her little one was only five years old. While her relationship may have ended back then, she says that her partner never stopped being a father to her daughter. She faced a lot of health and finance-related struggles after the divorce and was not able to make ends meet for her daughter. For the sake of her daughter, Vaid got back together with her ex-husband in 2002.

“Despite our struggles, my husband and I care for our daughter and are now a loving family of three. We still aid each other despite our differences. Now that she(my daughter) is an adult, she can support herself financially. I’m happy that I put my child’s needs first and toiled for a better future for our family.”