Identifying Workplace Gaslighting And Safeguarding Your Mental Health

“They made fun of my voice and then used to call me too sensitive to take jokes on you,” said a 29-year-old professional from Bangalore, who resigned after getting repeatedly gaslighted at the workplace. And mind you! It was a well-known company from which she resigned. “I am too naive to judge whether it was just a casual comment or gaslighting,” said another professional from Delhi.

Gaslighting is the act of making someone question their thoughts, beliefs and perceptions. You might have heard about gaslighting in relationships. But, it seems, this phenomena is quite common at the workplace as well. Often, it goes unnoticed because people fail to recognise the signs. However, there is way to protect yourself from this trap. Following are some of the ways you can.

Trust yourself

Anureet Sethi, Director and Chairperson at a mental health and counselling organization Trijog, says, “Trust yourself and cultivate confidence—these are your best defences. Remember, gaslighting can block your path to success; break free from it and move forward without self-doubt."

These things take place only when one is too underconfident to call any manipulation out at the workplace. One must remember that no job is more important than one’s mental health. Hence, make sure that you have the self-confidence to first identify and then if needed report the incident.

Rajnish Virmani, Managing Partner, Positive Momentum - India, says, “In order to avoid and protect yourself from gaslighting in the workplace, the first step is to learn how to identify the behaviour. Is one person doing this all the time – exaggerating everything that you achieved or making you seem as if you are over the top? Do people frequently dismiss your worries or do they find a way to twist the subject in such a way that you somehow end up looking like the villain? This is known as the red flag.”

Build boundaries

Once you have that self-confidence, it is important to remain aware and build boundaries. Ruchi Tambi, Human Resources, Gradding.com, says, “Gaslighting is the act of making someone question their reality and is not only present in intimate relationships; it can also happen in workplaces. Whether it is a supervisor or a colleague, gaslighting at the workplace creates a lot of confusion, and self-doubt, and lowers morale interceding productivity, and psychological well-being. To avoid being influenced by emotionally crippling tendencies that are associated with gaslighting, basic self-awareness should be engaged.” One should set clear boundaries with their colleagues at the workplace.

Avoid breaks

This advise is a bit unusual but will definitely help you out. Following office hours or avoiding unnecessary breaks is one way to set boundaries. Jinay Savla, investor and entrepreneur says, “It’s simple. Just follow office hours. Come to work at time and be disciplined. Taking unnecessary breaks for smoking, coffee and water cooler conversations is where gaslighting begins. Which occurs into late nights because you wasted time while at work and slowly it become a habit, a pattern and an incentive for others to be able to manipulate you.”

Confront them

It is important to confront the gaslighters. Ravi Mittal, founder and CEO of QuackQuack, says, “Don't get defensive or lose your composure because gaslighters crave emotional reactions; calmly confront them to weaken their manipulative behaviour and firmly express that you have caught on to it and will not tolerate it any longer. Gaslighting at the workplace can wreck your productivity and mental peace.” In case they still deny doing such things, it is important to calmly confront them. Dipal Dutta, CEO & Founder, RedoQ, says, “If a colleague tries to belittle your contributions or rewrite the facts, don’t immediately accept their version. I encourage my team to assert themselves calmly, saying things like, ‘I recall it differently,’ which reaffirms their position without escalating the situation.”

Keep a record

Well, some gaslighters will just not admit to what they said or how they said it was wrong. So, in such situations it is advisable to keep a record of everything they have said to you. Virmani says, “You are required to take everything down. Record all they said, emails you received, dates, times and the place and what you felt where you were being controlled or your story was being rebutted. This evidence will be useful when the matter gets out of hand. The ability to define your own boundaries is another useful weapon.”

“If a boss or co-worker insults and tries to abuse you, speak your mind in a reasonable manner and remember that your mind is still in your reality. There is no need to put up with someone taking those feelings or thoughts away from you time and again,” he adds.

Gurleen Kaur, a PR professional rightly mentions, “To protect yourself, always trust your gut and keep a record of conversations especially if they make you feel confused. Always stand up for yourself at work as no one is going to speak for you so be very open with the communications… Make sure to never doubt yourself.”

Report to the HR

If the matter is going out of your hands, just report it to the Human Resource department of the office. Rupali Rani, a media professional says, “Whether remote or in-person, maintaining documentation, setting boundaries, and seeking assistance from trusted colleagues or HR can help prevent long-term damage to your confidence and well-being.” HR technology is key to both streamlining processes and creating safer workplaces by preventing gaslighting. Tools like communication platforms, feedback systems, and sentiment analysis can provide insights into employee well-being, enabling HR to take preventative measures. Regular surveys and anonymous feedback help identify issues early on, while sentiment analysis tracks changes in mood and engagement. As Srinivasa Bharathy, CEO of Adrenalin e-system, notes, "Leveraging HR tech can create a respectful, supportive culture where everyone feels valued and safe, by giving complete people experience."

It is not just about reporting to your senior, HR or resigning from the company, it is much more than that as it causes emotional damage. Hence make sure you are mentally strong enough to deal with any kind of gaslighting that takes place at workplace.