Free Press Journal

Earning your child’s trust



Questioner: With many children, unless you push them, they get lax and lazy and are not doing their best in school. But in this competitive world, children need to do very well in education. What do we do about this?

Sadhguru: If the child develops trust that the parents are not willing to push him to accomplish their own personal goals and agenda for him, that they are doing things for his wellbeing, then it is very easy to guide and take him into things that he does not understand yet, and to help him make decisions about which he has no experience. This trust has to be built over a period of time. It is not just going to happen at that moment when you have to make a decision and ask him to do something. If this trust is built, then a parent can definitely make the decision for him about things that he has no knowledge of. Otherwise, he will naturally resist and just do the reverse of what you want him to do.

Different children come with different capabilities. All of them cannot be pushed to the same level. If you push them, they may become successful in one way and may become absolute misery in another way. So, having a very realistic evaluation of your own child is very important. You should not be pushing your child because some other child is getting somewhere else. They are not made the same way. You must have a reasonable sense of how far to push him and what not to do with him. This is very important. If your attitude is such that if the child gets 98%, the parents ask, “What about the 2%? Where did it go?” If this is the attitude, the child will naturally get frustrated because then he knows it is not about him, it is about you. So let education and everything that you do for the child be about their wellbeing and not about your priorities.

Sadhguru is a yogi, mystic and visionary, and a prominent spiritual leader. An author, poet, and internationally-renowned speaker, Sadhguru’s wit and piercing logic provoke and widen our perception of life.